Lovebytes: Do you remember what Love is? September 25, 2009

A recent exchange with a friend sets me thinking. She said this “When you have been married for many years, how do you know if you still love your paartner or its just obligation and responsibility that keeps this marriage together?” It bothers me and sets me thinking. I have to admit it is so right. All the notions of love that we know when we were dating.. the uncontrollable urge to see the person.. dressing up when you know you are going to meet the person…. Stressing over what to give months before the anniversaries or birthdays…these isn’t really the essence of love. But these are no more than a kind of euphoria. So, how do you know that even when the euphoria is gone, the joy of love is still there?

 

I thought about this for a long time, and finally God reminded me of the very essence of love.

(1) Love is patient

Are you still patient with your other half or do you flare up easily just because you waited a little longer than usual?

(2) Love is kind

Do you still do nice things for your other half? Waking up a little early to prepare his/her favorite breakfast?

(3) It does not envy

Are you secretly jealous that your other half is doing better than you at work? Or that the children prefer him/her to you?

(4) It does not boast

Do you constantly remind your other half how capable you are? How well you are doing without considering his/her feelings?

(5) It is not proud

Do you tend to think you are better than your other half? Do your words and actions put him/her down?

(6) It is not rude

Are you rude in your daily exchange? Do the words that come from your mouth hurt his/her feelings?

(7) It is not self-seeking

Are you selfish? Do you really try within your means to make your other half’s wishes come true? Or you only care about yourself?

(8) It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.

When bad things happen, do you flare up and throw out words of abuse to get vengeance. Can you forgive and forget and promise never to mention it again?

(9) Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

Will you still protect, trust, hope and persevere even during the lows of your relationship?

(10) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Are you still willing to put up with the flaws of your other half even though it may not be what you want it to be, and believe that God has bring you together for a good reason?

 I would ask of all married couples to run through this checklist and everytime you are not sure, look at it again and be reminded of what love really is.

 Something to think about?

Lovebytes: Are you happy? September 8, 2009

It’s really that simple, isn’t it? Something to think about?

Lovebytes: The one with the Power August 3, 2009

I remember a friend advising me, ” Don’t love him more than he loves you, then he can never hurt you!” And as years gone by, and I witness the ups and downs of my friends’ marriages, having gone through my own marital ups and downs, I realise you can never win in love.

There is just no such thing as a victor in love. You only win if you understand what its like to lose. The one who thought he wins, normally turn out to be the biggest loser in the end. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, if you want to be happy, if the answer is yes, then forget about winning every arguements. Forget about being right. Forget about being more knowledgeble. Care more, talk less. Affirm more, judge less. Love more, hate less.

How’s that for a happier marriage? Something to think about?

Quote for Thot July 15, 2009

“We’ve all done something in our lives we’re ashamed of. Some of us have fallen for the wrong man. Some have let go of the right woman. There are those who have humiliated their parents and those who have failed their children. Yes, we’ve all made mistakes that diminish us and those we love. But there is redemption if we try to learn from those mistakes and grow”

Something to think about?

Lovebytes: Putting your heart where its important July 14, 2009

If there is anyone knows how to prioritize their life, I guess it has to be Barack Obama. I meant, how does one tries to unite the entire country and bring it out from the dumps and still continue to be the almost perfect father and husband? Tough job isn’t it?

 

And what struck me most is that despite being one of the most important and successful person in the world, this man still thinks his wife is the greatest.

 

“Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!” – Barack Obama

And most important, you see the place she has in his heart.

“My wife has been my closest friend, my closest advisor. And … she’s not somebody who looks to the limelight, or even is wild about me being in politics. And that’s a good reality check on me. When I go home, she wants me to be a good father and a good husband. And everything else is secondary to that.” – Barack Obama

She’s like his anchor, his mirror. The one that bring him back to what is important, their family. And she once quote this “Barack didn’t pledge riches, only a life that would be interesting. On that promise he’s delivered.”

How many couples have got lost in the pursuit of life, they no longer remember what is important. They become careless with their words, their time. Phases like “Well, it’s you who is always taking more time in the bathroom, not me” comes out so casually, so naturally and a matter-of-factly. It makes me wonder, when did it becomes so easy to hurt people who are closest to you. At what point, does it becomes so natural that you didn’t even realize your words hurts. And most importantly, when does one start to become immune to those words and we could just brush it aside and so calmly accept it as a way of life when we don’t actually have to.

Something to think about?

LoveBytes: When one stop asking.. June 23, 2009

” You are the timid girl. Who wants but dare not hope, for love never to dull into responsibility. The girl who hopes but dare not want, for the rest of your life with him to be more exciting and fuller of passion than what it has become after only a few years.

You are the troubled girl. Who is contented but can’t help wondering, whether having someone who takes care of you is enough. The girl who wonders why, contentment can be so discontenting. You are the silly girl. Who wishes and dreams, but is afraid to ask.” – Red Autumn Leaves

Somehow when she read this, it just burns through and cuts a little too close to the heart. It isn’t because she stop craving for affection. It isn’t because she has forgotton. But she have long grew weary of asking for affection again and again and again. She have reached the point where she accepted this fact: If it isn’t part of his nature, it will never be permanent.

She always joked that  couples who seems so lovingly outside are probably not married? Yet when she said that, it wasn’t humour she felt, it was saddness.. yet even that saddness has started to evolve into an resignation to life.

Maybe she is silly, maybe even timid.  But one can only take disaapointments that far. And acceptance is a much easier pain to bear.

LifeBytes: True Faith? June 9, 2009

Finally, a pastor who cuts to the chase and boy, it hurt..

“Jesus is Lord” (1 Cor. 12:3).  

 Jesus’ teaching and ministry always kept the issue of His lordship at the

That is the single, central, foundational, and distinguishing article of Christianity. It is also the first essential confession of faith every true Christian must make: “If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved” (Rom. 10:9). The belief that someone could be a true Christian while that person’s whole lifestyle, value system, speech, and attitude are marked by a stubborn refusal to surrender to Christ as Lord is a notion that shouldn’t even need to be refuted. It is an idea you will never find in any credible volume of Christian doctrine or devotion from the time of the earliest church fathers through the era of the Protestant Reformation and for at least three and a half centuries beyond that. The now-pervasive influence of the no-lordship doctrine among evangelicals reflects the shallowness and spiritual poverty of the contemporary evangelical movement. It is also doubtless one of the main causes for evangelicalism’s impoverishment. You cannot remove the lordship of Christ from the gospel message without undermining faith at its core. That is precisely what is happening in the church today. 

Jesus’ teaching and ministry always kept the issue of His lordship at the center. As we survey His earthly life and ministry in this book, you will see the pattern quite clearly. He never once shied away from declaring His authority as sovereign Master. He proclaimed it to disciples, to enemies, and to casual inquirers alike — refusing to tone down the implications of His demand for non conditional surrender. So the true gospel according to Jesus is a message that cannot be divorced from the reality of His lordship. When Jesus called people to follow Him, He was not seeking companions to be His sidekicks or admirers whom He could entertain with miracles. He was calling people to yield completely and unreservedly to His lordship.

– Extracted from The Gospel According to Jesus by John F. MacArthur Jr.

 Now this is hard truth, its telling us.. (I included) that we have to stop deceiving ourselves we are and will be saved because we consider ourselves Christians. And Matthew 7:21 just explains why “Not every one that said to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven.”

 Think you are heading for heaven? Think again…

Reflections May 14, 2009

Lovebytes: Are you beautifully imperfect for each other? April 13, 2009

“In the end, it’s these small things that u remember, the little imperfections that make them perfect for u.”
Do i need to say more?

Who am I? March 30, 2009

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don’t like conflict. Because you’re so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don’t judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren’t necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people’s eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren’t interested in wasting time with people you don’t really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It’s time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I want to know you. Take the test here and paste your answer on the comments!